Dear Anne Marie: Whenever I have a meeting with my manager she takes all calls. She never puts the phone on voice mail nor will she let it just ring through. It's like every interruption is more important than what we're discussing. Besides, we almost always have to recap what was said before the phone rang. What a waste of my time!
    — Brett C.

Dear Brett: The good news is that you understand the value of giving people your undivided attention. It is respectful, caring and efficient to do so. Frequent interruptions reduce people's ability to think clearly, stay focused and make good decisions. How can you maintain your sense of balance around your boss, and others, when they do not share your values?

Managing The Moment

The "Moment to Manage" is your feeling of righteousness. Your values are central to your life and you will get in trouble if you ignore them. But, expecting others to conform to your personal sense of right and wrong takes the 'virtue' in righteousness and turns it into a license to judge. Add anger to the mix and you have a lethal combination for sure; one that does not serve your best interests.

The Game Plan

First, try talking to your boss about the interruptions. Be caring and respectful. Get to the point immediately; don’t waste her time or confuse her by dancing around the issue. Tell her that you value your time with her, describe exactly what benefits you receive from the meetings, explain how the constant interruptions are a problem for you, and invite her to share her perspective. Stay open when she responds to you.

Second, schedule the meetings in your office. If you are requesting a meeting with your boss, find a reason to have it in your office. This will give you more control over interruptions.

Third, take good notes and leave a paper trail. Your boss is easily distracted and needs constant recapping. This could leave you on the wrong end of a "miscommunication". Keep yourself busy at meetings by taking excellent notes. Following the meeting, e-mail her your notes, listing topics covered and decisions made. This will help protect you in the event of a disagreement.

Fourth, keep small talk to a minimum. Distractions are already too high, so resist the urge to engage in any unnecessary conversation. When she is attending to the meeting, keep things very business-like and on task.

Finally, focus on how you want to feel after the meeting. Your boss may not change, so your power will lie in how you choose to take care of yourself. If you hold onto your frustration, the effects of the meeting will linger for hours. Avoid that extra drain on your energy by relaxing for a few minutes and allowing yourself to feel the way you want to feel, instead of feeling frustrated.