The Moment: Poor Team Player

Dear Anne Marie: Six months ago, my boss chose me to be on a team that supports the division's most important project. It's a great career opportunity for me if we meet our team goals. One of our team members is controlling, critical and demanding. He makes it hard for all of us to get the work done. My boss expects me to handle this on my own. What should I do?
   — Jonathan W.

Dear Jonathan:
Dear Jonathan: You are smart, hardworking and ambitious. You excel at both teamwork and personal initiative — a winning combination. Your boss chose wisely when he placed you on this team.

Managing The Moment

The "Moment to Manage" is your feeling of helplessness. When someone dominates a meeting with negativity, the overall impact is to dampen the spirit of the whole team. Creativity and problem solving cease as everyone's focus shifts from the business at hand to managing around the negativity. Frustration quickly turns to helplessness when performance goals aren't met.

The Game Plan

First, replace helplessness with strength of mind. Make a list of all the things you can do to help the team. Begin taking action from a position of strength and care.

Second, name the problem. While it is true that one team member's behavior is poor, the real issue is performance. At your next team meeting, identify the problem plainly and decisively: performance is down.

Third, be accountable for your contribution to the problem. Name the actions you took (or failed to take) that contributed to the team's results. Immediately follow that up by sharing with the team what you intend to do in the future. These are important qualities of leadership, and you can model them for the team.

Fourth, be prepared to make boundaries. Decide in advance how you will handle controlling or critical interruptions to the agenda. Be firm in setting limits on inappropriate behavior while simultaneously inviting participation from everyone.

Fifth, together, review your team goals and timelines. It is time to get back on track and accomplish the business at hand. Re-establish your goals and overall purpose as a team. Get commitments from everyone including how they will be accountable to the team and the project. Treat this as a new beginning.

Finally, stay focused on the outcome. By keeping your performance goals on the table, you avoid getting sidetracked by negativity and other types of distractions. Stay on task by continually reminding yourself of what's at stake: your career. You will be strongly motivated to hold to the issues at hand when you realize the consequences of allowing others to sidetrack your project.