Dear Anne Marie: I have an open door policy at work. I want my team to know I'm available when they get stuck and need some answers. Or, they can stop by any time if they just want someone to listen to them. While this seems to be a popular policy, I'm finding the traffic is increasing and starting to get in the way of getting my work done. I'm afraid if I now 'shut the door', they won't have anywhere to go. What's the win-win here?
    —Paul K.

Dear Paul: You care about people and enjoy meeting their needs. Obviously you are very good at it because traffic is increasing. Every successful event has its pluses and minuses. Finding the right balance is the key to savoring your success.

Managing The Moment

The "Moment to Manage" is your feeling of responsibility. Your team needs you and you are feeling personally accountable for their welfare. You worry about what might happen if you make yourself less available. What if you let them down? Torn between letting them down and taking care of yourself, you routinely put your work aside. This makes you vulnerable to "dropping the balls" that are in your own court—an idea that you loathe.

The Game Plan

First, accurately define what it means to be supportive. Does it mean being available all the time? In general, only parents are required to be available at all times because children can't take care of themselves. Your task is to support, not take care of, your team.

Second, trust each person's ability to access intelligence. Intelligence is more than the sum total of what we know. It is the ability to dig deep and discover creative solutions, to feel the thrill of an "ah ha" moment, and to build the resources needed for calming ourselves. This process of "digging deep" builds confidence, so try to resist the impulse to always be available.

Third, have a closed door policy too. Each day schedule at least 2 hours for your own work and close your door. Instruct your team not to disturb you unless it is an emergency. If there is an emergency, have them call you on the phone rather than just drop by. This gives you control over the interruption.

Finally, encourage your team to turn to each other for support. You know from personal experience how good it feels to be helpful. By encouraging your team members to support each other, no one person becomes over burdened. Ultimately, your win-win is to strike that balance of real care, which is to support with boundaries, thus clearing the way for you and your team to be creative, decisive, and self-empowered.