Dear Anne Marie: I've been with the same company for 10 years. My career has progressed very well and I now have a top-level management position. I want to take some time to start a family but I'm worried how upper management would view my commitment to my career. Am I being overly concerned or perhaps wanting too much?
    —Olivia C.

Dear Olivia: You are ambitious and talented and you want it all. Good for you! Your energy, drive and intelligence have earned you your present success. These very same qualities plus a few more will be needed for you to go to your next level of fulfillment.

Managing The Moment

The "Moment to Manage" is your feeling of doubt. Doubt can be the prelude to defensiveness, a behavior you do want to avoid. Remember, it was not luck that landed you a top-level management position. You earned it. Be confident when you approach your boss. Confidence will "prevent" you from inadvertently inviting your boss to mistrust your intentions.

The Game Plan

First, put yourself in upper management's shoes. It's normal for them to feel worried when a big change is proposed. Write down all the potential problems that could occur and then propose viable solutions. By being proactive you will increase your confidence in yourself while reducing their apprehension.

Second, depersonalize upper management's reaction. You might receive a negative reaction when you lay out your plans. It is vital that you not personalize this. Many organizations today still operate with outdated attitudes that are reflected in rigid responses to requests such as yours. This is about them, not you. Doubting and/or defending yourself will only complicate matters more.

Third, be prepared to negotiate. Keep your emotions in check and remain open when discussing this with your manager. Be honest about what you can realistically promise him or her in the short term. Concede points rather than promise too much and stay focused on your long-term career goals. This is a great opportunity for you to demonstrate flexibility.

Finally, retain your personal power. You know what you want: a career and a family. This is your bottom-line and you will not deviate from it. What if you need to leave this organization to fulfill your dreams? By making peace in advance with all possible outcomes, you will ensure that you operate from a position of power.