The Moment: Competition and Rivalry

Dear Anne Marie: I have spent the last ten years working my way up the ladder in a large software company. At my senior level the competition for leadership positions is fierce. Regardless of how hard I work or how many projects I complete, I feel totally outpaced by my peers. I am constantly looking over my shoulder in an effort to stay ahead. All the fun is going out of my job.
   — Josh T.

Dear Josh: You love competition. You constantly assess the performance of your colleagues in order to see where you stand. You willingly pit yourself against the top people in your organization to perfect your skills. For you, winning is everything; there is no such thing as "second place."

Managing The Moment

The "Moment to Manage" is your feeling of inadequacy. The feeling of inadequacy is like a bad toothache: you can ignore it for just so long before the throbbing grabs your attention. Concentration on your work is repeatedly broken as unsettling thoughts intrude and cause you to question your own competence. Because your efforts are divided between doing your work and trying to overcome the feeling of incompetence, it is only a matter of time before the extra energy required to function discourages you and exhausts you.

The Game Plan

First, take a time out. Ideally, you will take at least four consecutive days off from work and go someplace you find fun and relaxing. A shift in your environment can help produce a shift in your perception, which you very much need right now.

Second, revisit your personal vision. What do you want in life? Who are the people who matter most to you? What legacy would you like to leave? Reignite your passion by placing your attention back onto yourself and what you really want. The quality of your life depends on it.

Third, get a reality check. Review the feedback you have received from your boss and your colleagues. What are the facts? Do the facts match your perceptions? Talk with your boss and get the clarity you need to proceed.

Fourth, identify the precipitating event. When did being competitive stop being fun? What caused you to begin doubting yourself? Understanding what caused the change will help you take concrete steps to correct the situation.

Finally, stay focused on your own game. In baseball, each player knows his position and the role he plays in helping to win the game. If the shortstop spends his time worrying about how skillful the first-baseman is, he will fail to notice the ball when it comes his way, missing his opportunity to perform. To succeed, you must keep your eye on the ball and play to your own strengths.